Hindsight

Why?

A man is sitting on a wooden bench, staring at the buzzing traffic. He puffs his cigarette for a while, then scratches his bulging belly out of boredom. A loud shout calls him, and as he leans to the source he sees a fat woman carrying the laundry basket in one hand and an infant in another. Without blinking he turns away, and looks out again upon the busy street with an air of indifference.

Why?

The carpenter pulls out a hammer and a set of nails from the package. He starts climbing the scaffold of bamboo sticks, making sure that the nails don't fall from his grasp. As he reaches the roof, he starts putting the nails into place. He drives five nails for the ceiling's joint, five nails for the roof, and two nails for the gutter. Seeing that he needs more, he starts his way down. That is when the ladder breaks.

Why?

The dormitory was already silent, but she was walking frantically to and from her room. She had her books on both hands while her laptop was at the study area. She finally settled down on her seat, putting down the last pile of books beside her laptop. She first did the abstract for her dissertation. An hour after she stopped and started reading her review materials for the exam. She was flipping through the first pages of the book when she suddenly blacked out. She can't see anything, she can't hear anything. All she knows is that her stomach was very painful.

Why?

The real world is a jumble of conundrums, a web of causalities and forking destinies. Their seems to be no order, everything is in a chaos of chance events and random occurrences. Lots of choices, hundreds of opportunities, yet success is both exhilarating and frightful. Millions of lives upon the hands of a fearsome society, what would reality look like in eye of the All-Seeing? The jigsaw puzzle of the global daily life is an unimaginable mess. What is the meaning of choosing right? What would the different viewpoints be in the absolute scale? Define truth? Define freedom? Define justice? What are wisdom and reason? What is living? What is human?

Why?

Principal Deception

Of what use is bitterness if it only destroys?

The framework of the human society is the desire to communicate, relate, and learn with each other. Man needs the cooperation of the immediate neighborhood to become an entity, to obtain an identity that is unique and personal. The actions of a single human being can only be successful if other human beings interact with the causal and consequential interplay that results from it. It is the work of a totally isolated individual that radiates pointlessly in the empty space of the inorganic, nonliving world.

Man cannot be the lone island of a lone ocean of a lone planet in a lone universe.

Why, then, do people try to withdraw, or even refuse and negate social interactions directed upon them? What is the overall result of the action of isolation, of defiance and degradation of what is natural?

Emotions. The fleeting realm of eternal change, which bears purpose from the identity of the self and the nature of the action upon it. Affects all, felt by many, and controls a few. But its total control upon a rational being is too irrational in itself. Feelings are mere responses, acting upon an occurrence without a true connection to a future, infinitesimal or eternal. In its essence, in its act of being, it conveys a message and a truth about the nature of the triggering stimulus, yet it only holds meaning to that particular stimulus and to no other. Thus to act in accordance to a feeling after the stimulus has been responded to is nonsense.

That is, to hurt a friend because of a lover is meaningless.

Yet the very nature of feelings affect the occurrence itself. It affects logic, in such a way as a very negative emotion can pervert the mind and bend the philosophy of morals. Thus the immediate guilt upon the person is seemingly diminished by this corruption of reasoning, but it is also because of a perfectly personal decision that the perversion happened (and with which the state of mind at the time of the decision is very sound and logical). An irony of situation is created, with the doer and the victim and the neutral audience deceived in different aspects. In a positive way, emotions bend logic as to shortcut the process of elimination and arrive at a visionary decision which is rightful. On the grave side, the person hurts others, hurts himself, and ceases to become a rational being.

And he dies, remaining un-human until he breaks free from the emotion.

What, then, is the use of rejecting someone who tries to make you happy because of an unintentional mistake that one cannot let go?

Burning in Thy Love

                                                                            Fiery
                                                                            Burning
                                                                            Devouring
                                                                            Endless
                                                                            Beautiful
                               The rediscovery of what is basic, simple, assumed, forgotten
                               The realization of the truth, the reason, the logic, the only way
                                                                            Suppressed
                                                                            Persistent
                                                                            Striving
                                                                            Hopeful
                                                                            Wanting
                                                                            Relating
                                                                            Persuading
                                                                            Ubiquitous
                                                                             Unselfish
                                                                            Patient
                                                                            Loving

There is nothing more to say. Mere fragments of untranslatable ideas remain. The night closes in.

And I dream of dawn.