Pondering upon Things

Quite shivering. It's cold outside the room. The glimmer of the street lamps may have contributed some heat, but it seems that it is the only heat available. The wind is blowing.

Quite sharply, I noticed the firefly fluttering upon the bamboo grove. Glowing, with a fleeting transient presence that catches attention yet triggers anticipation. I do not know what I would do next. Jump off the road and into the dense cluster of tall reeds? No, that would be silly indeed. I'd rather wait for the next flash to appear; and it did.


Quite surprised at my being surprised, I stopped walking for a while. Thinking. Or maybe, trying to think. What should I be thinking? What a question. Disgraceful. But I guess I really should be thinking. The beautiful scene, the stream of incoherent imaginations. Lo! I have thought of a though to think.

Quietly I sat. Yes, on the sidewalks. There were no cars passing, not even people. The place was barren except for me and nature. Or am I separated from nature? Oh well, I'm going to think. Deeply. Digging. Or, should I say, diving?

Quite different from getting old is getting crazy. It appears unrelated, but in fact they are one and the same. Everything is. It is not a cause and effect relationship, but rather a cause and another cause. Old age is seen as the portal to knowing the truth, they say. Wisdom, one acquires experience and thus gets wise through it. Craziness, on the other hand, is the acquisition of something cannot grasp. A scary voice? Bells ringing perpetually? A disillusioned diemnsion of reality? People disregard it as simply irrational - crazy - as if it is different from the rational and the "normal". You see, irrationality is dictated by a lose of logic. But to have a complete lose of truth is too systematic to be illogical - one needs to know every bit of truth to revert it and become crazy altogether. Thus crazy people are better than most of us. The "normal" people comprehend a mixture of truth and fallacy, this being an effect of the degradation of reason (logic's shortcoming, i.e. its vulnerability to emotions). The true normal person, however, is that which knows and stand with the norm - more precisely described as perfect. And thus to be crazy - that is, to be the opposite of normal - is to be the exact opposite of normal. And this is a perfection in itself - and a norm in itself. The whole point is that crazy people acquire truth in theory, though it is incomprehensible to the minds of the normal - I suggest a better term is common - and dismiss it as unimportant under the reasoning of craziness. Thus getting old and getting crazy both acquire the truth, though in different ways. And I think I am getting both at the same time.

Quite strange, but I feel that something will happen a few hours from now. Am I getting crazy? No, I'm simply getting old.

Quiet. The place is quiet for now.